One Foot Low

The most important thing to remember when crawling around in an attic is “Don’t Step Between the Ceiling Joists.”  A great deal of time is spent in attics and upper floors, some unfinished, when you’re an electrician.  Whether crawling, squatting, treading the roof trusses in a bent over position, or laying across the insulation, it is imperative to always keep in mind that your foot or anything else can drive a hole in the ceiling below.

Even so, there have been many times that an attic or upper floor misstep has knocked out a piece of ceiling, causing a portion of the finished ceiling and insulation to drop to the floor below.  This entails a cleanup and repair job which sometimes can be more money than the electrician would make on the job.

One time my brother Marke and I were doing a job at a lumber yard on the weekend.  The place was closed for the weekend making it easier to do our work.  Most of the building was unfinished except for the office which had been nicely finished.  Marke was in the attic.  I went out to the pick up to get something and when I returned I noticed a ceiling tile hanging down and a pile of insulation underneath, on the floor.

We worked pretty hard to get the insulation cleaned up and the ceiling tile back in place so that it would look nice once again.  When we got done, if you looked close you could see that the ceiling had been repaired, but no one ever said anything.

That occasion reminds me of a tale another electrician told.  This electrician (a journeyman) was working with an apprentice on an old hotel in a small town.  The second floor had a hallway the length of the building with doors opening to the rooms and a window over the front door looking into the street.

The access to the attic was a small scuttle hole in the ceiling at one end of the hallway.  The apprentice was in the attic and the journeyman was in the hallway.  They were communicating via the “shout” method and had managed to work themselves a good distance down the hotel hallway from the scuttle hole.

They both heard the sirens at the same time.  The apprentice in the attic called out; “Is that a fire truck?”

The journeyman decided to give him a good scare (seeing that he was so far from the scuttle hole).

So he replied; “Just a fire truck going by.”

Then he added; “Oh, they’re stopping….at the front door.”

And followed that up with: “Now a bunch of men with axes are running in the front door.”

The journeyman turned around and the apprentice was standing right next to him, amongst a pile of ceiling material and insulation.

The apprentice said; “I wasn’t about to crawl half a block back to where the scuttle hole is.”

Woops!

Pulling A Dagwood

One time, coming home from a vacation, our family was traveling late.  So late in fact that we got home early…..in the morning….just before sunrise….on a work day.  The shop I was working for at the time was busy and I was expected back to work that morning.

I took a short nap, ate my breakfast, and went to work.  We were wiring a soft drink bottling plant.  I was all alone in the building, trying to keep busy so I wouldn’t get too sleepy.  I was doing pretty well at it too.

The office for the bottling plant was a totally enclosed space within the plant with its ceiling several feet below the roof of the plant.  I was sitting on the top of the office ceiling planning my conduit runs when I heard the front door close.  It woke me up.

The door had been closed by the bottling plant owner that was paying for the electrical work.  I didn’t know how long I had been asleep, whether he had noticed me sitting still on the office ceiling, or if he had deduced that I was not awake.

I acted like everything was normal, but it worried me.  For some reason it was the last time I worked on a job for that particular business owner.  To be safe, I dropped some of my time off of my time report for that day.

I thought about it for many days and it still bothered me.  One day I mentioned it to my Father-in-law, an honest man.  He said that he knew the fellow.  He had been employed at the same job, and had worked under my Father-in-law at the Fort Peck Dam, while it was under construction.  My Father-in-law said that he was the most useless, lazy man that he had ever had work under his authority.  So I let the whole thing go.  I quit worrying.

If any of the individuals involved, or their relatives, are still alive nearly 50 years later, and happen to read this blog, it is my explanation for what happened.

Or maybe I had only dozed for less than 30 seconds.

Everything else is coincidental.

Some of my favorites

A certain man decided he needed a brain transplant.  He inquired of a surgeon as to the possibilities.  “Yes.”, said the surgeon; “It is possible to do a brain transplant.  What kind do you want?”

The patient asked what kinds were available and what would it cost.

“Well,” said the surgeon; “you could get a doctor’s brain, a lawyers brain, a banker’s brain , a plumber’s brain.  They would cost around $10,000.00 per oz.  An electrician’s brain is about $100,000.00 per oz.”

The patient asked why an electrician’s brain was so expensive.  The doctor answered; “You would be surprised at how many electricians we have to kill to get an ounce of brains.”

Ba Dum Dump

A man walks into a bar and asked the bartender; “Would you like to hear a good electrician joke?”

“Just a minute.” said the bartender.  “You see that big tough looking fellow at the end of the bar?  Do you see those two mean looking guys slouched over their drinks at that table?  They are all electricians.”

“That’s all right” said the man.  “I’ll talk real slow.”

Ba Dum Dump

Have you ever watched an electrician tie his shoe lace?  He puts his left foot up on a chair and reaches down and ties the laces of the shoe on the floor.

Ba Dum Dump

An electrical contractor had seven daughters.  His wife became pregnant an eighth time.  When the couple spoke with the doctor the contractor made the comment that he wished that this baby would be a boy.

He said; “I could train him to be a good electrician.  When I retire I could turn the business over to him.”

“That’s O.K” said the doctor; “It’s going to be a boy.”

The contractor was confused and asked just how the doctor could guarantee the outcome at such an early time.  The doctor said; “Trust me.”

When the couple went to the hospital for the birth the contractor waited in a waiting room.  After the birth the doctor entered the waiting room and told the contractor; “It’s a boy.  See I told you to trust me.”

The contractor was very grateful and mentioned that now he was assured of a boy to train he could really use an estimator for the business.

The doctor said; “Oh, he’ll be an estimator.  I can guarantee that!”

The contractor, now more ready to believe, was still a little skeptical.  He asked the doctor; “How can you be so sure that he’ll be an estimator?”

The doctor replied; “I just left him and he’s already crying.”

Ba Dum Dump

(I told this last joke to a roomful of estimators when they were questioning a foreman on his job decision making skills.  It got very quiet.)