Some of my favorites

A certain man decided he needed a brain transplant.  He inquired of a surgeon as to the possibilities.  “Yes.”, said the surgeon; “It is possible to do a brain transplant.  What kind do you want?”

The patient asked what kinds were available and what would it cost.

“Well,” said the surgeon; “you could get a doctor’s brain, a lawyers brain, a banker’s brain , a plumber’s brain.  They would cost around $10,000.00 per oz.  An electrician’s brain is about $100,000.00 per oz.”

The patient asked why an electrician’s brain was so expensive.  The doctor answered; “You would be surprised at how many electricians we have to kill to get an ounce of brains.”

Ba Dum Dump

A man walks into a bar and asked the bartender; “Would you like to hear a good electrician joke?”

“Just a minute.” said the bartender.  “You see that big tough looking fellow at the end of the bar?  Do you see those two mean looking guys slouched over their drinks at that table?  They are all electricians.”

“That’s all right” said the man.  “I’ll talk real slow.”

Ba Dum Dump

Have you ever watched an electrician tie his shoe lace?  He puts his left foot up on a chair and reaches down and ties the laces of the shoe on the floor.

Ba Dum Dump

An electrical contractor had seven daughters.  His wife became pregnant an eighth time.  When the couple spoke with the doctor the contractor made the comment that he wished that this baby would be a boy.

He said; “I could train him to be a good electrician.  When I retire I could turn the business over to him.”

“That’s O.K” said the doctor; “It’s going to be a boy.”

The contractor was confused and asked just how the doctor could guarantee the outcome at such an early time.  The doctor said; “Trust me.”

When the couple went to the hospital for the birth the contractor waited in a waiting room.  After the birth the doctor entered the waiting room and told the contractor; “It’s a boy.  See I told you to trust me.”

The contractor was very grateful and mentioned that now he was assured of a boy to train he could really use an estimator for the business.

The doctor said; “Oh, he’ll be an estimator.  I can guarantee that!”

The contractor, now more ready to believe, was still a little skeptical.  He asked the doctor; “How can you be so sure that he’ll be an estimator?”

The doctor replied; “I just left him and he’s already crying.”

Ba Dum Dump

(I told this last joke to a roomful of estimators when they were questioning a foreman on his job decision making skills.  It got very quiet.)